Another amusing tale – I think!

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods.

Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer’s ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

“Arrgh!  What happened?” the Leprechaun asked.

“I’m afraid I hit you with my golf ball,” the golfer says.

“Oh, I see.  Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?”

“Thank God, you’re all right!” the golfer answers in relief. “I don’t want anything. I ‘m just glad you’re OK, and I apologize.”  And the golfer walks off.

“What a nice guy,” the Leprechaun says to himself.  I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things I would want….a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.”

A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the American golfer is back.

On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

“Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,” the little guy says. “I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?”

“My game is fantastic!” the golfer answers.  I’m an internationally famous golfer now.” He adds, “By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.”

“Oh, I’m fine now, thankye.  I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how’s yer money situation?”

“Why, it’s just wonderful!” the golfer states. When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn’t even know were there!”

“I did that fer ye also.  And tell me, how’s yer sex life?”

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment,  and says shyly, “It’s OK.”

“C’mon, c’mon now,” urged the Leprechaun, “I’m wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?”

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, “Once, sometimes twice a week.”

“What??” responds the Leprechaun in shock.

“That’s all?  Only once or twice a week?”

Well,” says the golfer, “I figure that’s not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.”

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.
Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made contact,
 ”Connie… Connie.”
“Is that you, Joe?”
“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
“That’s wonderful! What’s it like?”
“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you’d be proud – lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to the golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep, and then the next day it starts all over again.”

“Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!”

“Not exactly… I’m a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona.”  

Let me know if you were amused too.